Barney the Dinosaur: Savior of Earth
by StopJustStop
Summary: Barney the Dinosaur has been caught breaking into the headquarters of none other than the prolific Third Street Saints. Suspense! Action! Surprise! And... romance.


Barney the Dinosaur: Savior of Earth

It was a nice day in Steelport. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and the Boss was wreaking havoc across the entirety of Steelport, just like every other day. But then, suddenly, he got a text. He took out his phone. It was from Shaundi.

"Hey, we need your help! There's an intruder in the headquarters!"

"God dammit, again?"

"This one is different. He's not even human! He's from another universe!"

The Boss quickly ran to the nearest car and took off towards the Saints HQ. As he got out of the car, he took out his RPG launcher and got into the elevator. As he exited the elevator, he raised his weapon and shouted:

"Put your fucking hands up!"

The large figure was cowering in fear upon the sight of the Boss. The Boss got a closer look and noticed that it was a purple dinosaur. He shot out a rocket. It didn't do much, except make the dinosaur fall over, and immediately get back up. He shot another rocket. As it hit the dinosaur, it said "Wait, stop shooting! This was a misunderstanding!"

The Boss dropped his weapon. "You're lucky I didn't stock up on rockets, you cunt. What is your reason for coming here and fucking with the 3rd Street Saints!?"

"My name is Barney the Dinosaur. I'm here to spread peace, love, and friendship!"

As Barney was saying this, he was looking straight into the Boss's eyes. The Boss was captivated. He didn't even know why. Barney's motives were exactly what he was fighting against, but his hypnotizing eyes made him want to support him. He looked at Barney. He was the most handsome thing he'd ever seen, with his smooth, purple dinosaur skin, his big, captivating mouth, the passionate stare in his eyes, and his heavenly naked body. The Boss had lost all control of his primal urges and couldn't resist to hug the dinosaur.

At that moment, Shaundi was smoking weed in another room. After a few minutes, she said "I wonder if that dinosaur is dead. I'll check up on them." She got out of the room to see the Boss having passionate, lovely, beautiful sexual intercourse with the dinosaur of another universe.

"Oh god. Barney. You make me want to give up on life and become your cum slut for eternity." said the Boss as he was intercoursing with Barney. He took a finger and put it up Barney's belly button. "Oh yes! That's the stuff! Put it in deeper!" said Barney. The Boss pushed his middle finger in as far as it would go. Then he put his index finger in. Then his ring finger. then his pinky finger. Pretty soon, the Boss was fisting Barney's belly button with unbridled passion. Barney was nearly awestruck with joy! Barney then took his two hands and started to bat around the Boss's fully erect penis. He was playing with it, like a cat would with a ball of yarn. Pretty soon, the Boss came in a glorious arc of love. Barney soon followed, coming so far up the Boss's ass that some of the semen could be tasted at the back of his tongue.

Shaundi saw all of this, and got so horny at the sight. She took off her top, and her nipples started lactating cow's milk! Pierce also saw it, and he ended up doing the same thing. Johnny Gat came back to life as a result of all of his, and as he walked in to see the immense orgy of cow's milk, dinosaur love, and semen showers, he started to participate in a threesome with the Boss! Professor Genki was even there, drinking beer with his feet on the coffee table. When Johnny finished, he pulled out of the Boss and started to jizz gallons of acid. The acid ended up getting on Professor Genki, and it made his pants and underwear completely disintegrate below his belt. Then, a naked Shaundi came up to him and started to ride Genki's erect penis.

Pierce wanted to join in on the action as well, so he also got naked and started to have anal sex with Johnny. Then, as Genki came in Shaundi, he decided to go over to Barney and start fucking him in the ass, even though Barney was having a second round with the Boss. The sex was so wonderful that it made Barney's cum come out as icicles! The amazing orgy even made Carlos come back from the dead and join in!

As Pierce was in Johnny's ass, Carlos went and stuck his dick in Pierce's ass. It was amazing- like a conga line of dicks in asses. Shaundi, after her fuck with Genki, was left masturbating in a corner, until Lin ended up coming back from the dead as well. As Lin entered the penthouse, Kinzie had also arrived. They all started to scissor each other, and they all came ribbons worth of delight.

By this point, Genki was sitting on a couch, with his dick still in Barney's ass. The Boss was riding Barney's dick. Oleg then came upstairs and started to ride the Boss's dick. Then Carlos decided to ride Oleg's dick, and he brought Pierce and Johnny along with him. What was transpiring before the three girls' eyes was a tower of male arousal, similar to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, only much, much sexier. Lin had then realized that Johnny had nothing to put his dick into. So she climbed on top of the tower and started to ride Johnny.

"Beautiful. Simply beautiful." said Shaundi and Kinzie as they had their tongues in each other's mouths with their clitorises interlocked with each other, feasting their eyes upon the amazing miracle of life happening before them. They were pregnant. Pregnant with pleasure, that is. In fact, everyone in the room was pregnant with pleasure. They all began to give birth to their respective pleasure babies, which fused together to form a fully grown man. And since he was made out of pure pleasure, everyone knew that he had to join in. So he went into the corner and started to meditate. He had then used his magic pleasure powers to turn everyone into hermaphrodites.

Shaundi and Kinzie were both fully erect, and went on top of the tower. Then, the pleasure master started to summon disembodied penises, which started to fuck the vaginas of everyone involved. Despite him being fully clothed and meditating in a corner, he was giving the entire room 300% more pleasure. And that percentage was steadily increasing. Soon, he summoned enough dicks so that everyone had two dicks in their vaginas! But that wasn't all he had in mind. The pleasure master started to summon more dicks. The Boss was overflowing with sex, but soon, he was going to be flowing with even more.

The dicks all made a beeline for the Boss's vagina and ass. Everyone looked down to count the number of dicks that entered him at an alarming rate of speed.

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

6!

7!

8...

...16!

17!

18!

19!

20...

...40!

41!

42!

43!

44!

45!

And that was all that would fit before the Boss came with glorious, unstoppable, unbreakable, starry orgasm!

The force of his cum was so great that it caused the great tower of lovemaking to topple! As it toppled, everyone came so hard that it went out of every orifice! They even came out of their asses! The cum shattered the windows and shot across the entirety of Steelport. The cum had eventually stopped, revealing a rainbow-like phenomenon across Steelport. A cumbow, if you will. The sight of the cumbow could be seen around the world, and at that point, all wars ended, corruption ceased to exist, troubled economies boomed, and the entire world was in awe at what had just happened. A single tear appeared in Barney's eye, knowing that he had done everything he had set out to do.

The next morning, the Third Street Saints, along with every other gang in the world, had stopped running. The Boss had married Barney. As he woke up that morning, he gave the great purple dinosaur a small kiss on his nose before heading out to enrich people's lives via interpretive dance in the utopia that he, his friends, and his newfound partner had all done their part to create.

**THE END**


End file.
